thoughts – GUREZU

I won’t be able to go on to another decade without properly reviewing the excitement, sadness and blessings of 2019. Also I would like to thank all the people who became part of this year. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

This year I dove into the world of voice artistry, went to four major travel destinations, jumped into vlogging and achieved a milestone in my career. Lovelife was exciting at some point but went meh. At least we tried,re-learn and reflect. Better luck next year. Hahahaha!

January 2019: Enrolled in a voice acting school. Got my first voiceover and dubbing experiences. Met talented mentors and classmates. My school ID was wrong. Should be Gurezu.

February 2019. Memorable shoot. I love the props, the venue , the outfit and the model. I hated the weather though. Such pain in the ass.

This happened in Fantasy World Batangas. Read full story here: https://gurezu.com/2019/04/

March 2019.

Graduated as voice artist and even had a radio show. The Villa Jovita adventure happened on Feb but published my blog on March. It went on to be my second popular blog. It rakes views everyday according to my wordpress stats. It’s a small happiness for small bloggers like me.

Here’s my blog about Villa Jovita: https://gurezu.com/2019/03/

April 2019.

Finally passed AWS SYS OPS Assoc Exam, completing the AWS Associate Trifecta! It was memorable because I learned my exam date just the morning of the exam itself. I even tried to obtain a med cert just to be excused by AWS. But I was not really sick and I was not good in lying. I just went on with it and just prayed hard for the best. Also after the examination, an earthquake struck Metro Manila. I was in Glorietta, ready for lunch after passing the exam then people came running out of the mall. I had to abandon my lunch order.

To celebrate, I joined a tour group going to Jomalig. I’ve been wanting to go to Jomalig but the 6-hour boat ride always held me back. But because I was happy I took the plunge. I have never joined a big group full of strangers too. So it’s another first for me. At the end everything was worth it. Jomalig is truly a paradise and I gain a friend.

Also this month, I became close to someone which I will call Noot Noot. Won’t go much with the details. Just want to say he made my April colorful. But that’s just it.

Aside from Jomalig, I also went to Pangasinan with my DGROUP team. I traveled twice, flirt a little (charot) and passed my certification exam. What a beautiful summer.

I blogger about my Jomalig adventure here: https://gurezu.com/2019/06/13/jomalig-adventure/

May 2019

This month, I got married to a prince. I also became an envious spoon. It’s on youtube guys.
Here are the links:

Ang Prinsipeng Nagpasalamat . I appeared in 11:01 minutes.

Ang Tsarera. My line appeared in 3:24 minutues.

I also engaged in an online radio talk show in Vg8 Radio. And it was also my first time to have Kawa bath experience.

June 2019. We celebrate Mama’s birthday with extended family. It was different from other celebration because here we were complete. Brother’s gf was also with us. The place is called Torres Land Farm and this resort would take you around the world. Read my blog about it here: https://gurezu.com/2019/06/

Finally made a youtube channel and published my first official vlog. I also got addicted with Black Mirror and decided to write episode analysis.

Here’s my very first Gurezu Reviews Vlog by the way:

August 2019. Mindblowing and unexpected. I just felt happy to be nominated. But to win was a blast. Thank you Lord! My only regret was I did not prepared a speech. Ended up with generic thank you.

And of course, this month I went to Cebu with my Dgroup friends. Our trip to Sumilon Island was my personal fave. Of course this marks another first, to encounter a whaleshark. Here’s my Highlight VLOG of my Cebu Trip.

September 2019

Finally, after long months of hiatus, I went back to organizing photoshoots. Got two photoshoots this month.

The theme of the photoshoot are posing suggestions and finally blogged about my output here: https://gurezu.com/2019/09/

This is not my first time in Boracay. But this is a milestone for me since it was our grandest family getaway ever. We grew up swimming in Manila Bay only and the idea of Boracay is far-fetched. So this is a memorable experience for us. I organized this and also the main sponsor here as part of my celebration for my birthday and winning an award at work.. The highlight of this trip was my first parasailing experience. I was not able to do that the first time I went to Boracay because I could not afford it. So I came back with a vengeance.

To reach Boracay, we traveled by sea instead of airplane. I blogged about our 2go ship experience here.

First out of the country since 2014. First time to prepare and plan for the itinerary. Usually kaladkarin lang ako e. I realized preparing for itinerary is an ART! It gave me stress but I enjoyed it.

This has to be my chillest December. Main reason, I did not participate in any big parties. I did not spent the month practicing a dance. Instead, I participated in a month long EAT-ALL-YOU -CAN BUFFET. Started with Sambokojin, then BGC HIgh Street Cafe, NUI Vikings then YAKIMIX PRIME. I certainly gain weight. There’s no denying it. What I love about this December, I got to join a party as a volunteer in an orphanage for a day. I spent Christmas with my favorite Tita and Tito. I had time to actually buy gifts and attend small parties. Also had time to attend Simbang Gabi again! This may be my chillest December to date but I truly enjoyed it.

My recap here could be full of HIGH’s. But to tell you the truth, I entered the year 2019 with a heavy heart. Particularly, I felt stressed at work and I was not good at controlling my emotions. ( I cried a lot at work) That was the reason why I enrolled in a voice acting school as a way to vent my emotion. Voice acting school is enjoyable but to tell you the truth I did not do well with it. I felt short with so many areas. I’m not sure if I ‘m going to pursue it any further. But I did not regret it at all. I know some day everything that I did will make sense.

I also had slight heartbreak this year. I would say slight because the person was far anyway. And I have this lingering doubt from the start. But just in case, he thought of me and this blog, I want to tell him this.

To Noot Noot,

This is tot. Thank you for the short time you comforted me with your words. You came at the the time when everything was terrible. And you made me feel I was not alone. When you were gone, surprisingly everything went well on my end. I realized maybe that was your only mission in my life, ot make that dark period bearable. And that’s all it could ever get. I don’t hold any grudges anymore. I just pray that you are well now wherever you are. —END—

I also want to write another letter for a different person.

And to the person who confessed that he liked me and formally ask me for a date. I want to tell you that you are very brave. And I hope that even if I did not accept your feelings, your courage will not falter. Someday the right person will come and she will deserve your courage. So don’t let our situation kill that moment. I am not brave as yours. And I know only the brave ones will get what they deserve. I hope I can teach myself to be brave too. I admired that. –END–

So yeah, that’s another low of 2019. My lovelife was still meh. But I get reminded and re-learn things.

However, my greatest frustration or low I think would be I did not finish my novel. Again. I was so positive I could do it this year. But I did not maintain the momentum. The good thing was I wrote a lot. I did not finished it but the plot was already there. i just have to write it. That’s why this January 2019, I will carry it on. I don’t want to give up. Please pray for me.

The important lesson I learned is don’t lose hope that your situation won’t change. Surprisingly at the later half of the year, work became lighter after so much prayer. And I guess the rest of the year rewarded me for the hardship I went through with the first half of the year. I did not expect to get an award and travel with my family and then abroad. I believe everything is with God’s grace. And now it made sense that the hardship taught me something.

So if you are having a hard time and you entered 2020 with a heavy heart, let not that determine your whole year. There are many things that can happen. If you want it to be better, sometimes you have to fight for it with your spirit. And if still hard, pray harder. Focus on what you have and start there. I tell you that a great turnaround will happen. Just have faith.

And that’s it for my yearly recap. Cheers!

Remember, you are awesome and don’t let others make you feel otherwise.

GUREZU ❤

June 13, 2018

Wednesday

5:43 A.M. Pavements are wet. Roads are starting to get busy. No rain but the gloomy sky suggests it is just warming up for another batch of rainfall.

I don’t mean to discourage anyone from sleeping early with the title. It is just this made me remember why I am not fond of sleeping early. I slept at 11:00 pm last night. I considered it early since for the past weeks I am sleeping at 2 am. For the record, I once successfully slept at 9pm but woke up at 12 am. And I was not able to feel sleepy again until hours that I am supposed to be productive at work. I have been attempting to sleep earlier again since last week. I feel sick the whole long weekend due to piled-up exhaustion so I promised that last night, I will do it FOR REAL. As a result, I woke up at 3:50 am. I attempted to sleep again but my hungry stomach wouldn’t let me. So at 4:45 am, I decided to just get up, eat , go to work and if I ever feel sleepy, I might take a nap in the office.

There is a tapsilogan just beside the dormitory. They said they are open 24 hours. They are indeed open but they could not accept orders yet because they were cleaning up. So they are temporarily closed. I felt they lied to me. Haha!

Moving-on, the next plan is to go to 7-11. But wait a minute,the newly-opened Jollibee is operating for 24 hours!!!

The giant Jollibee on it is still creepy.

I’ve been passing this Jollibee when it was still closed. I think it was creepy because the said branch was still dark and there was still no sign of life. But now it is already open, I still think it looks creepy up. He looks like he’s about to jump and tore someone to pieces. Nyahah!

This is what I ordered. Breakfast Chickenjoy because I am a fan of Chickenjoy. But I did not enjoy it. The chicken was too dry.

Anyway by the time it was finished, the sun rose already.

If anything good comes out from waking up too early , it is I was able to find time to blog and write. Although this particular post has crappy underexposed photos from my mobile phone, it made me feel good that i was able to unload my thoughts through writing. Without putting much thought into it, the formatting, the editing of the photos. Letting every words flow spontaneously. This past weeks I’ve been complaining about how I could not able to write unlike I do before. I believe I am a writer but I feel like I am letting myself down. Last week I read my offline diary and felt sad that I could not write like that anymore. It felt its because I tried hard to not feel emotions anymore because of what happened from many moons ago. That in expense of learning how NOT to feel, I could not write anymore. I named it as Writing Paralysis.

But congrats to me. I have written this long post with a tinge of emotions and sarcastic hyperbole’. It is a start I guess. Maybe watching Brooklyn Ninety-Nine during my sickly weekend helped me to somehow let English words flow.

Anyway some updates,

1. I’ll be joining a trip to Marinduque this coming weekend. It means more photoshoot! Yey!

2. I booked my trip to Palawan for August. I actually did not booked it myself. My friends helped me because I am lazy to spot promos. And I don’t have credit card.

I think that’s all for now. I have to rush back to my dorm because I need to occupy the bathroom before my roomies. Xiao!

And oh here’s my honest to goodness selfie